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And so we keep the clothing of grief, or we give it away. We pack it into a container. We inhale its scent, remember its promises, wish it could transport us back to the moments before the bad thing happened. The gray sweater is all I have of the miscarriage, and I won't wash it or wear it again until I have a healthy child. Even ชุดว่ายน้ํา then, nothing is guaranteed. It's pure foolishness to think that this is a talisman against future losses, future grief. Anything I wear anything I put on in the morning, or again at night could, in an instant, become weighted with the gravity of loss. My grandmother has lived alone these last 27 years. She falls asleep on a king-sized bed and wakes in her long nightgown, looking like nothing so much as a little girl from Texas who has somehow lost her way.
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